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:: My Urban Eyes ::

All that I see, and then some.
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[::..about me..::]
Learning curve, commence.
"Everything in life
is only for now."

-Avenue Q
book - none
japanese - kanji
crochet - scrap squares
knitting - lace
sounds - iron & wine
podcast - yomiuri
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[::..current gape..::]
[::..site feed..::]

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:: Friday, November 22, 2002 ::

"I Think I Thought I Saw One"

It took me forever to write about this... but I didn't catch up on sleep until today.

Monday night/early Tuesday morning we went on an adventure--five people in two cars doing the speed limit down Route 20 at 4:30 am to my house in hopes of seeing some meteors.

Pull in the driveway, trek out back, meet the horse, walk around the pasture to try and see the meteors. Next to nothing--there's a veil of clouds over the entire sky. But... right there, did you see that? It kinda looked like something. Through the clouds.

"I think I thought I saw one. Right about there. How about you?"

"I think I thought I saw one, too."

A snow angel, several camera flashes, and a five minute drive later we're in the Diner (no clarification needed--it's the only one) ordering breakfast. One of us gets asked if she's going hunting--deer season opened yesterday, after all. Two of us realize we're wearing the same boots. Exact same boots, only one size off. One's a guy, one's a girl.

Three orders of pancakes, two orders of eggs, a hotdog, a bowl of cream of wheat and several hash browns later five sleepy college students headed back to campus. At least one was confused about the speed limit.

:: Kazen @ Always Doing 3:29 PM [+] ::
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:: Sunday, November 17, 2002 ::

Pacific Ties

This is so notable it deserves its own post.

Got a phone call at five of midnight... who would call me at this time except Elizabeth or Bhairavi? So I pick up the phone, expecting their loud on-campus voice on the other end.


A male voice. A smooth voice.

"Hey," he says again. "Who is this?"

I remember those elementary school lessons, though, and don't want to give out any info.

"Who is this? What number are you trying to reach?"
"This is Jay."
"I'm sorry but you have the wrong number."

I reach for the "talk" button, ready to hang up.

"Is this South Carolina?" he asks.
"Um, no... this is Upstate New York. The 518 area code."
"Oh, I'm calling from California. I guess I want the 581 area code."

I get mentally prepared to hang up again.

"Sorry if I woke you up."
"Oh, no, you didn't."
"Hey, you have a sexy voice."

My jaw dropped.

"Uh, thanks... I hope you can get through to South Carolina... bye."
"Bye," I heard as I hung up.

Yes, sometimes truth is stranger than fiction.

:: Kazen @ Always Doing 9:10 PM [+] ::
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:: Saturday, November 16, 2002 ::

Towards the Center

My mind has taken an inward turn lately... but not the usual sort. The usual sort brings out the shy twin, completely introverted and not willing to talk to anyone. This inward turn, though, is just in my head. I'm still outgoing, willing to talk to people, act silly and have fun. But when I'm alone, I think. I think it's a good thing.

Woke up this morning (er, afternoon) in my usual groggy state, but a scraping sound snapped me to reality. "What is that? It sounds like... ice...". I pushed the blinds aside to find ~ta-da!~ snow!!! We went from October weather (the no jacket sort) to early December overnight. Albany weather is messed up... but I like it. We experience each month's weather, just not in the correct order. And who are we to be picky?

Hockey game last night--an awful 3-0 loss. We allowed 34 shots in the first two periods alone! The defense sagged and collapsed. Not too much fun to watch.

There were high points, though. I sold the winning 50/50 ticket! Barb won it, one of my regulars. I'm happy I sold the winner, for many reasons, not the least of which being that a couple of my customers threatened to go to other sellers if I didn't come through for them. Also, I like doing well for the newspaper guys. They're an awesomely cool bunch.

Odd experience--someone I know well referred to me as "a woman I know" while telling a story. Me, "a woman"?!? It doesn't register. I'm just, and only sort of, getting used to "ma'am", and with a grudge, at that. Don't be throwing the "lady" and "woman" stuff on me just yet.

Looking forward to Indian food tonight (the ethnicity, not the quad!)... my company will be fun, too... and the snow adds to the adventure. To trek out in the white stuff never gets boring. Or warm. But, hey, we'll dress for it.

:: Kazen @ Always Doing 1:00 PM [+] ::
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:: Wednesday, November 13, 2002 ::

Looking for Substance

I think Foundations may have set off something--a need for something tangible. It's going to be a round-about road getting to the justification for that point, but hang with me, here.

Today has been decently good so far. There have been rough spots, be sure--namely, my Upper Atmosphere test this morning. The ionosphere and the magnetosphere are not what I want to be thinking about on five hours sleep. The prof tends to have a massive curve, though, so I'm hoping for the best. (As always!)

Acting was great--I felt like I nailed my scene. For the exercise we sat in a chair slightly stage right (to get out of the "dead spot") and talked on a phone with three different people of our choosing. I "talked" with my mom, brother, and grandfather, adjusting my story and speech to fit each person. I'm really happy with the result--it felt real, and looking back, I made good choices and adjustments. However, I think I need to work on my timing, how much time I "gave" the person on the other end of the phone to speak.

What I'm the most proud of: I told everyone I was talking to my brother. But they were able to tell it was a younger brother by the tone of my voice alone. (Okay, okay, and one subtle hint, but that's not the point.) I'm proud I pulled that off.

Acting class makes me bi-polar about the craft. Some days are great--I lay down a great scene or exercise or whatever. After those days I leave class thinking, "Acting is amazing! I want to be doing this in some form for the rest of my life!!!". (Well, maybe not that extreme.) Other days outright stink. I mess up lines, don't feel like my character. Those days I think, "I'm not an actress after all... who was I kidding? What makes me think I can pull this off?". How I feel about the craft depends on the day. However, I rarely say anything bad about acting class. Even if I have a bad day I'll bring up something else, instead. "We did this cool exercise where we had to make a machine and we were the parts!"

Okay, point one, "The Setup", that will help me lead to a final conclusion: I love to convey things. Lately, this semester, most of the things I've been trying to convey are not physical. I don't have much to show and tell. Just tell. Stories from classes. What it felt like when I went to slam my alarm clock this morning and almost broke my only dish and bowl. But it's hard to do. It can get frustrating.

Moving on...

Foundations rocked yesterday. Professor Pipkin is simply amazing. Sure, it may have something to do with the fact that he's a professor in my field and all, but still, amazing. During class, I, Urban Planning Major, was sitting next to Jon, Urban Planning Minor. We were giddy the entire time. "Jane Jacobs! She rocks! Remember what she said in the book we had to read for 220?"; "'Housing is the third rail', quoteth Rocky..."; "But what if low-income housing were built, too? Wouldn't that help things?"... and so on. It was wonderful to connect with someone about something I truely care about.

Point two, "The Transition", that will help me lead me to a final conclusion: finally, I was able to convey something with perfect understanding. Sure, common experience had a big thing to do with it, but sitll, I could connect. It felt good. I wanted to convey more.

Moving on...

Last night I saw my mom and was able to get my hands on some yarn and a crochet hook. Project time! A quick blanket so my toes don't freeze this winter.

Point three, "Exhibit A", that will help me lead to a final conclusion: two hours' worth of crocheted goods, made while I should've been studying.

Bringing everything together:

Consider the facts. "The Setup"--I have a need to convey. "The Transition"--I was able to convey once intangibly, in Foundations, which creates a deeper need to convey. "Exhibit A"--being able to convey anything more intangilbly, I turned to crochet, something I can hold up and say, "Look at this! I made it!"--something tangible.

Therefore, Foundations set off a need for tangibility.

~~end proof~~

:: Kazen @ Always Doing 11:45 AM [+] ::
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:: Saturday, November 09, 2002 ::

Anime Day

Today is going to be fun! First of all rehearsal was cancelled, and good thing, too--it was square in the middle of our planned anime run.

So, in an hour or so it's going to be hack.//SIGN in Bhairavi and Elizabeth's room, and who knows, maybe something else. (Dav was talking about bringing a two-parter of some sort... something crazy. Dragon Half?) Then piling in the car to go to Hooshie's for even more stuff... Rayearth! And cheese balls... mmmm...

All of the fun today makes tomorrow my work day. Study for Japanese test, laundry (fun fun fun), studying lines, so on and so forth. I like being so busy because it's fun, but the fun of sleep is slightly underrated, I think.

"Oh, the sun is warm,
But my blanket's warmer
Sleep, sleep in your lady's arms
Sleep, sleep in your lady's arms"
--On the Town

:: Kazen @ Always Doing 9:18 AM [+] ::
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:: Thursday, November 07, 2002 ::

An Odd Mood

I haven't quite been feeling myself lately. Well, that's not entirely true. I've been my quiet twin--the shy one that lets other people make decisions, that gets pushed around for the sake of peace. She doesn't stand up for herself much. A lot of things aren't clear. She has a hard time understanding jokes, sarcasm, and taking things in. This makes her a poor actor. I would like to get the outgoing me back soon... I can fake her, but it's not the same.

More rehearsals for Brighton Beach Memoirs. I like it a lot. I still don't feel completely comfortable or in character... but I blame it on this shy twin.

I'm such a Gemini it's scary. Want to know about me? Read any Gemini profile. Nearly everything hits on the mark--intelligent, communication masters, Mercurial, multi-taskers, fickle, attracted by sharp minds. Mutable. Element, air. Metal, mercury. Rules the hands, arms, shoulders, nervous system. Tends towards wrist problems. There are other, even less flattering things out there... and sadly, most (but not all!) of them ring true, as well.

I should take the rest of tonight to find myself. Enjoy some "me" time. However, sleep calls, and heaven knows she sings an enchanting melody...

:: Kazen @ Always Doing 9:02 PM [+] ::
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:: Monday, November 04, 2002 ::

So, I'm Kate

No, really. I'm Kate, the mother... yelling at my son Eugene, picking sweat socks and roller skates up off the floor. Cooking dinner. Motherly things. In other words, first Directing Project rehearsal tonight... it went pretty well. But I have to get more in character. I just hope everything turns out alright in the end.

Today was interesting. Interesting to watch.

And then there are other things... like your friends knowing you too well. Bhairavi, you're gonna get it! Maybe I should do something un-me just to throw you off. But then you would probably call it. Darn you...


Such a beautiful song... more mysterous and beautiful without the translation, no?

Yama no naka
Mori no naka
Kaze no naka
Yume no naka

Sesshoumaru-sama doko ni ru?
Jaken-sama o shitagaete

Watashi wa hitori de machi massho o
Sesshoumaru-sama omotori o

:: Kazen @ Always Doing 8:03 PM [+] ::
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:: Saturday, November 02, 2002 ::

It's Catch Up Time

First off, something random: I love Gathering of the Ranks at Hebron... it just came up on my media player. The middle bit (bridge, I guess) is amazing!

Okay, to catch you up on my life, in little segments:

--I was cast in the Directing Projects! A bit of a shock, though--I'm the Jewish mother in Brighton Beach Memoirs! I stood at the call board in shock. I hope David (another David! So many Davids and Daves! I dub this one Director David.) can help me pick up the accent... I think that's going to be the toughest part. Heaven knows I'll be loud enough! (A friend actually asked me if I could be loud enough... obviously, a newer friend. ~wink~) First rehearsal Monday, after band.

--Acting class has been odd this week... a workshop. Things seemed to be coming together to start, but yesterday we were missing people and things didn't seem to work. It got annoying. A cool, bit, though--the other group was missing people, as well, and needed people to cover so they could put up their scene. I ended up playing a 19 year old girl that just found out she's pregnant. She comes home to meet her parents, and ends up spilling the beans. It's very hard to convey in words what happened, exactly, but let it suffice to say that I was proud of my performance. Why can't turn out performances like that consistantly?

Mmm, hoka ni wa, is there anything else...

--Rats are doing well, leading the division, in fact! Quite a difference from league basement last year. Game last night wasn't too great--a 2-1 loss. Tonight, though, they pulled it together and beat Rochester 3-0. Rochester hasn't won a game yet this season. Scary thought.

Tomorrow (well, technically today) it looks like I'll be doing work all day... at least, the parts of the day I don't devote to sleeping. (Gorgeous and gracious slumber...) The only real thing I have to do is Japanese, but it's a lot. Vocab test Monday, written homework, and working on kanji. It'll all be fun, though--I love that class!

I realize that when I'm tired and just writing I rely on my tried and true sentence forms--broken in half, be it with a dash or ellipsis. Also, I tend to start sentences with transitional words and phrases. I guess it's my middle school English training coming out. (Really, thank you, Mr. Desharnais!!!) At least it's something solid to fall back on, even if the form gets tiresome.

Even though it may hurt more, better to fall back on concrete than fog... unless, that is, you fall into the fog...

:: Kazen @ Always Doing 10:38 PM [+] ::
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